Howdy Ho, Ravers! While hopping from stage to stage at EDC last weekend, we realized a lot of attendees were running into the same, um, problems. To put a comedic twist on our shared adversity, here’s a list of 10 ‘problems’ only ravers can understand. Let’s go!
10. Sweating like a pig in a skillet.
Indoor raves have a time and a place: during the winter in destinations along our Northern border. But even when the AC is turned to Power Ranger, we still sweat like Aaron Carter at an ATM.
9. Sending mixed signals while rolling.
That moment in the heat of the rave when we maybe-possibly-definitely proclaimed our undying love to someone we don’t actually have feelings for. *Cue screeching breakpedals.*
8. Reapplying sunscreen countless times and still burning.
We reapplied once. We reapplied twice. Heck, we reapplied a lucky number seven times. So why the cuss are we five shades redder than a freshly steamed lobster at The Captain’s Boil?!?!
7. Babysitting our friends during their unplanned spiritual journey.
It’s a right of passage for every noob raver to pop one-too-many vitamins on the dance floor. And as good friends, we know it’s our responsibility to ensure they don’t confuse the local trash pandas for spirit animals.
6. Getting lost in the labyrinth of tents.
When we get so lost stumbling around the tent village at 4AM, we convince ourselves David Bowie and an army of puppets are going to steal our next of kin.
5. Monday’s 9:30AM zoom call after 48 hours without sleep.
“I’m so sorry, Sharon. My camera just isn’t working this morning. I have no idea why it’s being so coconuts…” 👀
4. When the meteorologist is a lying SOB.
We prepared for cool winds. Naturally, it scorches.
We prepared for a scorcher. Naturally, it hails.
We prepared for hail. Naturally, it’s Hurricane Katrina the sequel…with guest appearances by Sandy, Ike, and Galveston.
3. It’s been 3 days and our ears are still ringing.
Listen... Oh right, we can’t. 😝
2. Befriending everyone at the rave only to cull them from Social two days later.
Waiting in line for the bathroom be like, “OMG! You’re amazing, Babe. What’s your handle? I’ll add you on Insta. Love you mean it!”
When we forego the rave because of a lack of funds, an aunt’s unexpected funeral, or some other clearly-immature-or-ridiculous reason. Now we’re wrapped in a duvet and crying while scrolling through Stories of our friends getting their life at the rave.
*Freedom Rave Wear does not claim to own any of the GIFs or images used in this post.